Missing Person

I swear, Corey has me about fit to be tied. First he loses his poo, and now he's lost his glasses. His new custom-made $400 unbreakable Nike Flexons. (They don't break, but they sure do get bent out of shape.) Anyhow, let's hope they really are unbreakable because I suspect that he lost them in the yard yesterday and I have a feeling my lawn mower will be the one to find them...

Newsworthy?

Maybe it's because we never seem to get rain, therefore we rarely get to see rainbows up here, but this was the second rainbow this season to warrant a story on the 11 o'clock news. (Can you imagine weather events so lame that a rainbow is newsworthy? Especially those of you in Iowa and Nebraska?)

Anyhow, it was huge and pretty and if you click on the picture to enlarge it, you may even see that it was a double rainbow. It's more noticeable at the bottom of the rainbow. These were taken from my backyard after a three-minute rain shower. And that was our total rainfall for the week.



What IS newsworthy, however, is that fact that my honey turned 39 today! He should be home in about 45 minutes, when half the neighborhood should be here armed and ready to attack him with water balloons, squirt guns, buckets of H2O, and silly string. Assuming any of them remember!

UPDATE ON KEN'S ATTACK: Highly successful. Once again, no pictures, I was too busy throwing water balloons. Ken pulled up, drove on the grass to avoid obstacles in driveway, then noticed neighbor with the hose as he began to open his car door. We told him he had no choice but to come out, so he did. For about ten minutes he was pelted with massive amounts of water and water balloons, as well as an occasional squirt of silly string.

Thanks to Heather and Kaeley for filling up balloons with me, (have fun in Cali!,) and Jesse, Chris, Lisa, Tiffany, Matt and ALL the kids who came by to help; Aaron, the twins, Anna, Karli, Allyson, Sean, Shannon, Riley and Corey. Hope I didn't forget anyone. Ken was stoked, I mean soaked!

Two Vans Too Many?

Must be that my children have way too much experience with mini-vans, because they are thoroughly obsessed and highly entertained by car windows that go up and down. When Ken initially bought his four-door, he convinced the boys that the windows were voice activated and would go up or down by command. After a week or so, they caught on to that.

Today we had to run out to Mattawan, and on the way home, Corey discovered the button that rolls the window down. Actually, Shannon, knowing what would happen, told him to press the button. Corey's window went down and his giggles ensued. He laughed so hard I just about checked his pants when we got home. Who knew what the kids were missing growing up in a two-van household?

Go-Karts Etc...

Well, Ken got stuck working all night last night, which meant he was home all day today. Since we never seem to see daddy anymore, I suggested that we all go do something fun as a family. We ended up going to a go-kart place I see all the time off the interstate, (the title of this post is a link to it,) and we all had a pretty good time. Riley and Shannon were able to drive mini go-karts twice, they each got to ride with daddy in a Grand Prix go-kart, they did a round of putt-putt, and they got to shoot really big paintball guns!

The go-karts were the big draw, and it was fun to see Riley and Shannons' faces as they went lap after lap, (a camera would have portrayed this well, but someone never thinks to bring it on day trips...) Anyhow, as the boys got the feel of driving the karts, Ken and I began cheering them on, encouraging one or the other to pass on the inside, give it some gas, accelerate already!

After trading off on the lead position a few times, Shannon put his NASCAR knowledge to use. He started crowding Riley out each time it looked like Riley was moving in for a pass, and before you know it, Shannon had crowded Riley right into the guardrail thereby stalling Riley's kart. Riley looked totally baffled as he found himself motionless on the track, but Shannon just kept on going. Took care of that little nuisance, I guess!

Anyhow, it was a nice warm day, and the place was not very busy so it was great to be outside. Corey, of course, hated the noise the karts made, hated the noise of the paintball guns even more, and didn't want to be in the sun for putt-putt. Therefore, Corey and I just hung out in the arcade and worked our way through $9 worth of tokens.

We ended up playing skee-ball most of the time, well, if you can call it playing skee-ball. It was more like Corey would throw the hard wooden balls and I would fetch them for him. Or he would roll them up the ramp and they would roll right back to him. A few times he rolled them onto MY game right next to his, once even scoring ten points for me. We spent a lot of time working on his form, and soon congratulations were in order: he was finally able to simply throw the ball hard enough so that it didn't continuously roll back to him. Zero points, of course, but still high-fives all around!

The boys had so much fun, they didn't bother fighting or whining for the entire 45 minutes it took us to get home, therefore we all considered this to be a successful day.

Out of the Closet

Ever pull something out of the corner of your closet that's over a decade old? And it still fits? Well, that happened to me today. Not the most styling outfit for 2008, but in 1995 this pair of over-all shorts were hot. Okay, Ken thought they were hot. Actually, he still does...

With Shannon in my Sycamore, IL apartment.

Shannon, me, and Ken at Navy Pier in Chicago.

Restricted Food Products

Cleaning the house this afternoon, I came to realize two things. Nerds candy is officially BANNED from our house, first of all. We've vacuumed twice, and I can still see them in the carpet. Secondly, don't feed children Pringles potato chips after you vacuum. Duh.

Edited: Add Cheddar Popcorn to that list. AARRRGGGHHH!!!!

Summer and Slumber Parties

Okay, 5:30 in the afternoon, and I finally feel a little rested. My own fault, once again...

We had a busy day yesterday, once we got moving. The radar kept indicating rain, yet when the front would approach Kalamazoo it would go from green to nothing for no apparent reason! Finally, in frustration, I fired up the lawnmower. (For me this can be as effective as getting a car wash for the average person in bringing rain to fruition.) It DID sprinkle for about ten seconds after I loaded the mower with gas, but within a half-hour of mowing, the sky turned blue! So I continued mowing for no other reason than to even out the 1/2 of the lawn that I'd already completed.

While mowing, some older boys were putting together a game of wiffle-ball at the dead-end across the street, so I ran in and got the boys ready and convinced Ken to head out with them and pitch. Good times! Everybody was out expending energy except for Corey, who really only enjoys water play. So after I finished mowing and the wiffle-ball game ended, I convinced Ken to blow up water balloons with me so that the boys could have a little water fun. Well, it took an hour to blow up those 250 water balloons, and about ten minutes for Ken, the boys, Anna and I to destroy every single one. We played a little catch with them, harassed some neighbors with them, and generally just threw them until they popped.

Now what??? "I'm going home, I haven't had dinner yet," Anna said, so I sent the boys in, looked at the clock and realized it was well past dinner time! Got some food going and started picking up the house, when someone in the front yard catches my eye... It was two little girls we'd attacked earlier as they went around the block on their scooters, and they had a bag of water-filled balloons. About six water balloons, actually. After they quickly completed their counter attack, I handed them a handful of water balloons and told them not to come back unless they were prepared.

Shortly after they left, I enlisted some neighbor boys from down the street. Gave them a handful of water balloons and sent them home to fill them up and await the girls return while I loaded up about 50 balloons of my own. Then we waited. Forever we waited, until I finally gave up and called the little girls and asked where the heck they disappeared to. Oh, they're coming, or so they said. Finally, after an hour or so, we see one girls' parents coming up the street. (Okay, good friends of ours coming over to hang out, but also to let us know the girls should be by shortly.)

And there they were! Wave one was on as the boys down the street attacked the unsuspecting girls. They were new to our water fights and threw them way too hard, but the girls survived and headed to our house. Wave two was short and sweet, and a little too disappointing. The adults hogged the balloons and went after each other while the kids argued over who pilfered whose balloons and blah, blah, blah. Water fight over.

The kids dispersed and left the adults on the porch to entertain each other. Suddenly there was a lame game of HORSE underway between four lame adults. That turned into two-on-two and a lot of beer bottles. Finally the air got too chilly, so we went inside with the kids. Then I got this crazy idea into my head that Anna should sleep over since she's had the boys overnight twice this summer. Then I said, "Allyson, you two have been getting along so well, why don't you stay over, too?" Their moms looked at me like I was crazy. "Might as well throw Sean (Allyson's little brother and Shannon's pal,) into the mix, too."

Sadly, I actually had to convince the kids' moms into going along with my idea, and by 10:00 it was just me and a house full of six kids. I split them into two groups, the youngest upstairs, the oldest downstairs. They were actually pretty good, the youngest group was all asleep by 11:20, while the older kids didn't wind down until after midnight. (They insisted it was two o'clock, but I was checking pretty regularly.) I fell asleep at 2:00 in the morning thinking it was quite the success.

Then I woke up at 6:30, because Sean had woken up. He wanted to wake up all the kids but I forcefully suggested that he quietly lay down and watch Tom and Jerry while everyone else slept. Yeah, it was really all for naught, because by 7:30 the girls were up, then the boys were up, so then I was up! Once I started moving around it became apparent that I have some bronchitis settling in and a massive sinus headache going on. Now it was going to be a long day!

Boxed In

I know the boys like to look at the cereal box while they eat, but this is ridiculous... Shh, don't tell anybody we have anything other than Kellogg's cereal in our home!

More water balloons today. I gave them each their own color on the second go-round. It did ease up the fighting over which water balloons were whose. After they fought for 20 minutes about who got the red ones. (Shannon; red, Riley; yellow and Corey; green.)

Deep Sleep

Aaarrggh! I just did my nightly routine of getting Riley up to go potty so that he doesn't have an accident while sleeping, and apparently 'woke' Shannon in the process. Well, technically I don't think Shannon was all the way awake because I caught him emptying his bladder into my laundry basket. I guess I should be thankful the basket was full of dirty absorbent clothes...

Did I mention my boys were really deep sleepers?

Togetherness

I feel so bad for only children, how do they ever learn to bond? To share? To have a literal p***ing contest?

***Photo Removed by Mom

That's Corey in the middle. I guess three isn't always a crowd?

***Photo Removed by Mom

Mom caught taking inappropriate pictures

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And only when you have younger siblings could you have a way-too-small pair of shorts set out for you. I know the layered look is in, and I know that some guys think it's cool to show a little bit of your boxers with your droopy pants, but I'm pretty sure this isn't the season's latest fashion...

Issues

Riley has been complaining of stomach pain on and off since June 7, his symptoms similar to ones both I and Ken had been experiencing. It seemed like a minor bug that makes you feel nauseous off and on and also becomes more obvious when hungry or full. For a few days, the bug seemed to have passed, but now Riley's complaining of pain again as nightfall approaches. He tosses and turns at night and switches beds and sleeping positions every ten minutes. I know this because he was in and out of my bed twice last night. Here's a couple of positions I caught him in (and I have no idea what Corey is doing in Riley's room, so don't ask!)

Sorta spooning, he's usually curled up in a ball as of late.

Um, hiding under a pillow... is it nightmares or Corey's breath?

Another thing I noticed when viewing these pictures (aside from the fact that the water-filled sippy has a serious leak?) Corey is getting really tall and looks more like Riley every day.

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With a high temperature of 67 degrees yesterday and no chance of water play, I drug the boys to the library. What a fiasco! A craft session was just ending, there were children and mom's everywhere, and the warning that you must be extra quiet in a library was proven false, (and don't think my boys didn't catch on.) With all the chaos, all I wanted to do was get out of there, and all the boys wanted to do was run around loudly like the other children.

After Shannon nearly knocked over an 8 foot tall display, we left. I must confess, I wasn't even a little embarrassed when I noticed a mom laughing at my frustrations in trying to get the kids buckled into the car. An empty threat, most likely, but I ran out of things to scare the boys with so I said in my most stern Mommy's-very-mad voice, "Keep it up, boys, and when we get home, I'm going to introduce you to the fine art of scrubbing toilets!"

Once again, I didn't follow through, because here I am, the next day, gearing up to clean all four bathrooms. "Oh, Riley..."

Conversation

Had a couple of doozies today, but I can only seem to remember this one. This morning I had the boys get in the tub together while I finished up a load of laundry, and asked Riley if he would soap down Corey's hair for me. When I finally got to the boys, Riley was working on his powers of persuasion.

"You want to be cool, Corey?" he asked.

"NO!" yelled Corey.

"You want to be sweet, Corey?"

"NO!" Corey yelled again.

"Well do you want the girls to love you then?" Riley asked in exasperation.

"Yes!" came Corey's enthusiastic reply.

"Well then you're gonna need a mohawk!"

The Proof is in the Potty!

My heart is racing, I feel like I'm going to have a heart-attack!!! Corey just said, "I feel like I need to poop," so I put him on the potty with a warning not to flush it and left the room. Not 20 seconds later Corey yells, "Look, Mommy, I pooped!" Sure enough...

Proud boy after doing the deed!

I took this picture at an angle so it wouldn't be too disgusting. If you want to see it, take a closer look. Think brown.

Minor Happenings

Happy Father's Day to all you Dads out there! Ken got a pair of basketball shoes and went golfing this afternoon while the neighbors and I held a mini-water-balloon 'fight' in my yard for eleven children. I wish I had some pictures for you, but I was too busy filling up water balloons.

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And just so you know, getting kids out of the way when you need to vacuum can be a little perilous. I told Riley and Shannon to move, but they were in the middle of a computer game, so they climbed onto my furniture instead:

It looks like they're on a chair...

But they're really on my weird piece of furniture I use to store scrapbooks.

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Oh, quick update on the turd situation... still MIA. Any ideas?

Turd Alert

Remember how I said that Corey would no longer be allowed to poo in a diaper once school was out? Note to self: dress Corey in tight fitting underwear.

Corey was wearing nothing but a pair of very loose athletic shorts yesterday when that pooping feeling snuck up on him. Somewhere in the basement, apparently. He ran upstairs, continuously repeating, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." One look at him, with one hand over his eyes and the other over his butt, I knew what was going on.

"Did you poop your pants, Corey?" was followed by a silent admission of guilt. "WHERE did you poop your pants, Corey?"

"In the basement."

"WHERE in the basement, Corey?"

"In the room with the bed."

"Which room with the bed, Corey?"

"ON the bed, Mommy."

AARRGGHHH!!!! Now, as you may know, our basement is nothing more than an over sized jumble of toys and is constantly in a state of obliteration. For two hours Shannon, Riley and I cleaned both the playroom and the bedroom, searching for Corey's misplaced turd, while Corey parked his poopy butt on the toilet. For TWO hours.

The result? The basement is completely clean and Corey's turd is still MIA. Corey did finally drop something in the toilet that required a flush, but since he doesn't let the proof hang around, we're not sure whether he truly did the deed or not.

I guess now we wait and see if an odor develops that could help us track down the turd. Or, as a good friend suggested, borrow a dog from one of the neighbors, and not only will the dog track it down, it will probably digest the evidence. That sounds like a good plan to me.

Another Tooth!

Shannon and Riley came running downstairs screaming and just about scared me to death! Once I heard what they were saying, I understood the excitement. Shannon had lost his second tooth! When I asked him how it fell out, Shannon said casually, "Well, I was jumping on the bed and I slammed my face!"

Yippie, the count is two lost teeth each for Riley and Shannon!

Officially Summer

Well it's 1:25 in the afternoon on the first full day of summer vacation and I still haven't had a shower. The boys haven't had a bath yet, either. I need to establish a daily routine or I'll grow fatter and sleep the summer away.

The good news? I was out of bed by 9:30, there was only minimal amounts of dried cereal throughout the house, I fed the boys both breakfast and lunch by 12:30, mowed the lawn, cleaned the garage, played some basketball and swept the kitchen floor. I wonder how long before my productive phase wears off?

Well, off to fry some chicken legs, vacuum and take a shower before Shannon's T-ball game later this afternoon. Assuming that the storm front doesn't hit before then - you know the one that hung around over Nebraska and Iowa for days? Guess what, it's our turn!

How Hard Could it Be?

For a week now, yes, a week, Ken (and various neighbors) have been working on installing an in-ground basketball hoop. Okay, a few days for cement and all, sure. Unfortunately, (and predictably,) it was the assembly that took forever...

Ken and Chris getting started. Reading instructions, can that be right?

Hmm... odd assembly process.

Ken digging through the garbage, positive that the pole is the wrong style. Luckily Chris brought a flood light so the work could continue.

Okay, this is actually the next night when the hoop was finally complete. Before this could happen, Ken sent me to the sporting-goods store to exchange the defective pole. Sadly, the store determined that this was actually a case of assembler error and sent me back home with the original pole. Finally I made it home and told Ken to just drill a hole where he thought one should be and luckily he didn't put up a fight. Problem solved, and soon we were in business...

Splash Universe

So we went to Splash Universe in Shipshewana, IN, this weekend for Shannon's birthday outing. It's an indoor waterpark/hotel that was perfect for kids aged 5, 6, and 7. If only the boy's had behaved perfectly... Here's a good indication of what we put up with on the drive and anytime the boys were within three feet of each other throughout the weekend:

Here's Riley on the white square in front of the main maze of slides, waiting for a large bucket of water to fall from the top of the contraption. (I'm not kidding, this deluge cycled every four minutes or so and would knock Corey on his butt if I wasn't hovering over him to keep him on his feet!)

Here's Shannon hanging out on a lily-pad. It had netting above it and the boys could either climb across or hop across on the lily-pads. Riley and Shannon (and Daddy) spent a lot of time with this attraction.

This is the base of two three-story tunnel slides, that's Riley and Corey in the foreground, and Ken and Shannon exiting the tunnel in the background. We all went on this ride numerous times, even Corey! He kept asking to go down by himself, a request frequently answered with, "Heck, no!"

Here's my favorite attraction, the Lazy River. Riley is not drowning in this picture although he looks like he may be. Shannon, on the other hand, tried to exit the little pool surrounded by the lazy river (against my orders to stay put) by jumping into the lazy river. It was only three feet deep, but the current was something he wasn't expecting. Neither I, nor the lifeguard who grabbed him, was too thrilled.

Here's the birthday boy attempting to look innocent.

There was a toddler pool that was only 8'' deep, and it was full of little contraptions such as these. They held Corey's attention for a little while and allowed me to relax a little.

Ugg! The family at the baby pool...

The hotel also offered all kinds of activities. It had a disco area, arcade, free puppet shows, and even an ice cream eating contest. Ken talked Riley into participating, and Riley's tummy hasn't been the same since.

Did I mention no spoons and no hands?

And finally, the hotel also had a NEOS machine, which encourages kids to exercize with a 15 foot panel containing various light games. Shannon and Corey could not get enough.

And if somebody would just donate one to me, Corey's days of Physical Therapy would be long gone!

No Connection

Delayed loss of cable and broadband connection. Three days after the big storm, the systems went haywire. Okay...

Hail and Wind

Hey, Michigan finally got a turn! Our sirens went off twice last night, at 4:30, right after Riley got off the bus, and at 5:30, just before Shannon's T-Ball game was scheduled to start. The first sirens came with a few semi-wicked clouds and an obvious cold front with somewhat accelerated winds. I was watching in the street the entire time, but there was no obvious rotation or anything. A quick two-minute rain spurt sent me inside, where the boys were oblivious to any meteorological happenings and happily playing video games and watching cartoons.

Then Ken came home... he wanted to chase but everything had been winding down, the last phase set to hit our area soon. He cranked the local news, turned on a radio to the weather reports, and had the kids in a stir in no time. The reports were showing the storm's approach, and we watched for it outside. Obvious bands of rain were coming down nearby and heading right for us, and the wind picked up noticeably. At about 5:30, we watched from the front storm door as the rain intensified and the ping-ping of hail started to occur.

Mommy was all excited and Daddy was keeping his ear out for the TV reports and hoping for something interesting. All at once, the hail was a little more than a ping, the winds turned the rain horizontally, visibility dropped to zero, and the sirens went off. Dang. Somebody had to take the boys to the basement, and that fell to me. We were all content until the radio started saying "Tornado Warning, Tornado Warning" and started doing the "This is not a test..." Then the lights flickered, the TV lost power and came back on with a beep... beep... beep... With the public service warning blaring, Corey came unglued. Ken yelled for the all clear at the same time and Riley came unglued as well.

The next half-hour was spent calming the boys, trying to get them to eat on nervous stomachs, and insisting that Shannon quit scaring his brothers by mentioning storms, tornadoes and lightning. Finally, I went out to survey the damage to the yard and snap some pictures. Here's the hail and my sad, sad flowers, the big downfall to exciting weather:

Hail. It stuck around for over an hour after the storms moved on.

More hail. The bigger pieces were nickle sized.

Hard to see, but my big bushes were decapitated in a perfectly straight line, excluding the portions that had been smashed into the ground.

Here's my Cat-mint that I'd been so proud of before the storm.

My Cat-mint after the storm. Bummer.

Then we decided to check out the neighborhood to see what else may have been messed up. Let me mention that these trees always looked weak and sickly, so it really wasn't much of a surprise...

Heather's house. House across from Heather's.

Did I mention that the homeowner's girlfriend suggested he not park directly under this tree as she knew storms were rolling in? He moved it to the end of the driveway, the storms hit, and this was their near miss. Good thinking, girlfriend! Actually there's two downed trees in there. And that was the worst of it.

Sign In

I've been trying to think of an appropriate gift for Ms. Welborn, who has been Corey's ECDD teacher for the last three years. For three years she's had to listen to Corey repeat questions, read signs, and redirect conversations toward his current obsessions. Next year it will be another teacher's turn, as he will be entering Kindergarten. I wanted to get Ms. Welborn something that would remind her of Corey every time she saw it, and something that had nothing to do with apples or pencils (ask a teacher what I mean by this!) Anyhow, I think I may have nailed her gift:

A street sign that she can hang in her classroom with her name on it! I love the idea, and I hope she likes it, too! Corey had no idea that I'd gotten this for her, and when we went to the sign shop to pick it up, he just about peed his pants. Signs everywhere! After he got over the excitement of the store, I gave him another big surprise, which by the way, he loves:

If this doesn't work, nothing will! He can't wait to take it to school to show all of his school-friends... uh, okay!

Flea is 34

Yikes! This is my sister Shannon, Me, and Leigh with baby Riley back in 2000! Who knew that in seven years, Flea would have a baby of her own and one more on the way? Happy Birthday, biach!

Somebody was Bored at the Post Office

5, 6, 7

Well, today my trouble maker Shannon is 6. I decorated the kitchen with multiple number 6's and red balloons last night before bed, then awoke this morning to an unhappy Birthday boy. Seems I should have decorated the living room, too, and why didn't I blow up the entire pack of balloons? (Note to self, hide the package so the boys don't know how many I purchased...) I tell ya, it's one of those days already.

We'll be taking him to a water park when it gets a little warmer to truly celebrate, and he'll be getting a new basketball hoop that will hopefully be installed in a timely manner. I told him that for dinner we can have whatever he wants, anything at all. "Whatever I want? Hmm... how about HOT DOGS!" he decided. Ugg. Boiled hotdogs, none the less.

Here he is with some of his (disappointing) decorations:

There is a bright side, though. For the next three months I won't feel the need to explain how my kids could possibly be the ages they are. I can just say, "Oh, the boys? They're 5, 6, and 7."

Jersey

"Hmmm.... that looks really good," Ken says as I walk into the living room in his over sized Buckeye jersey.

"Yeah, makes for great pajamas," I reply. "At least it's being worn."

The next morning the kids get in the tub and notice my shirt as they slowly come to. "Mom, you're a ten!" observes Shannon. The number on my jersey is, in fact, a ten.

Riley looks up with a big smile on his face, sees that I am wearing a Buckeye jersey rather than a Nebraska jersey, and is immediately crestfallen. "Aaawww......"

"Calm down, Riley, you know I'm a Husker. Besides, I'm just wearing it to sleep in. Nobody's going to see me in it," I assure him.

"Okay... hey, Mom? When the Buckeyes play the Huskers, how do they tell each other apart?" Riley asks.

Good question. I'm too tired to explain home and away jerseys. "I bet they get really confused," I answer and start washing their hair.

T-Ball Pictures

It's been quiet with Ken and the boys in Ohio this weekend, but these did just arrive...

Yeah, they're fuzzy, but until I get a decent scanner, that's how it is with pictures that aren't in a digital format.

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I'll be messing in the yard all day, getting my seedlings in and moving around some perennials. I'm going to try to water the front yard too, as it's already turning brown and it's only June 1. I asked my neighbor if he would mind cycling his underground sprinklers a few extra times this weekend; with all of the wind we're having, that would be the only way to ensure that any water actually hits my yard. It's sad...