Whatever Works

I have two posts I need to get up (fire hydrant and First Communion time again,) but I am working so much that I just haven't gotten around to it. I'll continue after you stop laughing...











Okay, I seriously have been working quite a bit lately but I will have plenty of time to tell my stories sometime next week. Actually I'll have all the time in the world since Ken is moving to day shift on Monday. This move means that I wont be able to take on very many jobs at all unless I put the kids in before and after school care. Unfortunately the work I'm doing is very sporadic so it isn't financially feasible to put the kids in daycare at all. Sound familiar?

Luckily summer is right around the corner and I can once again take three months to ponder what I want to do when I grow up after yet another attempt at work doesn't really work for our family at all. Grr or yippie, not sure what to think at this point. Sigh.

Theriously?

Corey has had four loose teeth for months now, and today the little left bottom one finally annoyed him so much that he asked me to fix it. I was pretty impressed that he was willing to let me pull it and when he walked up to me and opened his mouth I just reached in and yanked it out on the first shot. Trust me, that never happens with me...

...and apparently that was what Corey was counting on. He was as surprised as I was to see his little tooth in my hand and I started to get all excited and self-congratulatory when Corey let out a ear piercing scream. He cried and cried and cried, so hard that he could barely breathe. Finally he was going at it so much that he started dry heaving and I knew I had to do something.

I screamed, "Knock it OFF, Corey, it's just a tooth!" The room fell silent as Corey stopped crying immediately and gave me a stunned look. "I know, Mom," he said with urgency, "but I MISS my tooth and now I can't make the 'TH' sound!" I just looked at him like "WTF???" (which according to Corey would sound like, "Wot da twuck?") and he started bawling all over again. Then I left the room and laughed my butt off.

Post Script: Guess who is not willing to let some crazy tooth fairy guy come into his room tonight, money under the pillow be damned?

How to Challenge Corey

So your spelling test is a little too easy for you and there's no way in heck you're going to take the time to improve your penmanship... what to do? Well if you're Corey you just practice your Roman Numerals. Duh.
Seriously, the kid could stand to work on his handwriting!

The Sixth Solstice and that Other Holiday

Shannon had a little difficulty this morning and I am not exactly his favorite person anymore. It all started when he woke up and ran to the bathroom for that morning pee that all little boys seem to take. What is usually a simple task apparently isn't too easy if somebody put you in your footsie pajamas in the middle of the night. Especially if they put them on you backwards.

So anyway, Shannon's running for the potty trying to unzip a zipper that is not there and growing very upset. As he kicks open the bathroom door, a hat filled with about 20 bouncy balls falls from the ceiling landing directly on his head. Balls bouncing everywhere and a bladder ready to explode, Shannon just didn't know what to do! Seriously, it was freakin' hilarious, I wish he'd let me take a picture.

So all the commotion wakes Corey up, naturally, and the first thing he does is go down to his computer and fire it up. But what is this? The screen is broken and the mouse doesn't work? (Or is it just the way mom set up the wallpaper on the computer...)


Not to worry, Corey has another computer directly behind him! The mouse works! Corey moves the cursor up to the search bar and starts typing in his latest most favorite website, occasionally looking down as he pecks his way through the address. But wait...


Oh, the frustration!  The home row is backwards!  Naturally I had to reiterate to Corey that this was temporary, the computer wasn't ruined, and then of course I had to show the boys how to dismantle a keyboard.

Anyways, all of this happened before daddy got home, so we went into the kitchen to prep the bouncy ball gag for daddy's entrance. Corey looked around and asked why there were sixes all over the kitchen.


The numbers, left over from Riley's ninth birthday, obviously didn't represent a birthday, but they did represent The Sixth Solstice, a holiday that falls on the first Thursday of April, wink wink. I explained that the sun isn't quite at it's highest point yet, it was six degrees off and today we celebrate that fact. And of course... we celebrate it by only eating things that are green, which is why I made green jello the night before.


After having jello for breakfast (it was a holiday after all,) we waited for daddy to get home, bounce bounce, where he told us all about how he suckered numerous people at work the night before by pulling off the CTRL + ALT + ↓ trick that Corey inadvertently taught us the day before. Try it, it looks like this:


To turn everything back, just do a CTRL + ALT + ↑.

Anyhow, just as everybody calmed down Shannon suggested that we get the guinea pigs in on a prank. He was brainstorming for a while and I told him he could probably think of something easier if he was actually holding his pets. Of course Shannon thought that was brilliant and ran to get Max and Cheepers. "What happened to my guinea pigs?" yelled Shannon in disbelief.
Not really sure what happened to those guinea pigs.... oh, look, they've been pooping jellybeans! I wondered aloud whether or not these aren't the infamous Easter Pigs I've heard about, for when the real Easter Bunny can't reach all the kids... Suckaaaaaa's!

Anyhow, that was all before noon, and the day is still young. I will probably direct future efforts toward my neighbors just so that the kids don't run away for good. So for all you neighbors out there, don't say I didn't warn you.